Skating Lessons or Life Lessons

Don't you just love those moments when you think you have the best idea and it's just going to be so much fun? You can just picture the smiles and laughter, and know a pat on the back is coming!!  This is how I felt three years ago when I was going to take Isa and Andy skating for the first time.  If you don't know much about my childhood I grew up on the ice.  Well, not literally, but I will tell you at 3yrs. of age my first winter sport was hockey.  I don't even remember learning to skate.  What daughter of mine wouldn't love to skate, and I could teach her.  I had taught my friend's son to skate and it was so special. I wanted that same memory with Isabella and Alexandrea.

The dream began to unravel when I was asked to stop holding Alexandrea while I was skating to ensure her safety after 10 strides.  Then I began to question my parenting when I realized my perfectionist, Isabella,  went from being just a perfectionist to a frustrated perfectionist.  She could not skate perfectly and did not even want to  try.  I mean not at all.  It was horrible.  Needless to say I let the skating dream go.  I never took the girls back to the ice rink.  Until tonight.

Our church was having a family skate night, and I thought it's been three years- why not try again.  On the way I began to prep them, reminding them, "you fall a lot in skating.  That's just part of it.  You won't be perfect right away." As those words were coming out, my mind was thinking this could be a quick night.  I was anxious getting on the ice with the girls.  Isa stayed true to her independent self, and wanted to hold boards and not my hand.  After half a trip around she decided to get brave and let go.  She was doing pretty well-- wobbling here and there but catching her balance.  And then it happened! She lost her balance and hit the ice.  I thought well this is it.  But I was wrong.  She got up and fell again, and laughed.  The rest of the night she wanted nothing to do with me; she was going to conquer this thing on her own.  She spent most of the night on the ice getting back up again.

It was in one of those moments I, again, was challenged by my daughter.  She was making friends as she encircled the ice.  Some would pass her and others she'd skate around.  She would fall and they would ask if she was ok and so on.  As I watched her fall and get back up and fall again, she grabbed the boards and pulled herself up, looking back to see a new friend fall.  Not quite up herself,  she let go of the boards with one of her hands and with a smile, she reached back to help her up.  And I thought "Isn't that life.  Isn't that the point.  We're going to hit bottom sometimes.  We're not perfect, but while we're struggling to get back up why not hold onto what we know is solid with one hand and reach back to help another.  Because it wasn't so long ago we were there, and who knows how long it'll be before we're back down.

Life is a lot like the ice-skating rink.  There are those consumed with getting up and going on only concerned about themselves,  and there are those who take a moment to pause in their struggle and help someone out.  Let's face it we're not going to be perfect before we help someone. But there is a key to helping: if Isa wasn't holding the boards she would have landed right on top of that girl.  I'm thankful that I have a God stable enough to hold me up while I reach out a hand to help another.  He knows I couldn't do it in my own strength.

So if we find ourselves "down" this week,  let's take a moment to pause, to first make sure we're holding tight to Him, and with a gracious heart reach out, smile and remind someone he or she is
 not alone.

Galatians 6:1-3

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.

More

I have to say that the last few months have been a little "much" on the busy scale.  I started this blog to keep myself accountable from filling my life with too much "stuff" so  that I miss out on the really important great happenings.  You know like hearing the sweet prayers of your daughters, that challenge you to have a child-like heart, instead of making a to-do list in my head while they are falling asleep. Or having that much-needed time with your husband instead of swapping calendars and car seats.  Or what about actually knowing something about your neighbor other than whether they wave with their left hand or right.  Life easily fills up and still we want more.
I believe that the  need for more ruins a lot of wonderful moments.  At least it has in my life.  Why is it that we are never satisfied?  We need more money, more friends, more time and more accolades.  This is a wonderful season full of family, friends and traditions.  And if we're not careful, it's also a season of wanting more.  Sometimes that desire for more easily defeats the family, friends and traditions.
I often go back to a conversation I had with a close friend and her husband, who is very successful in his field.  It was one of those conversations where the light bulb turned on for me.  We were talking about  his latest success.  He said it's like anything in life, you have to get to that point where you can enjoy where you are.  Once you reach a "goal" there's always "something else",  and if you're not careful you'll spend your whole life striving for "something else".  It was eye-opening for me to realize that all of us have a battle with a craving for more.  Here was someone I thought had it all confessing his struggle of wanting more.
This past week while reading my bible this scripture brought that conversation back to life for me.  Proverbs 15:17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred.  There is a lot...... a lot of love in my life.  I can honestly say I will take that love over any admired gift.  So as this wonderful season approaches may we remember the love in our own lives and reach out to those who are searching for it instead of just fulfilling our wants.  And may we never forget this season started because of love

  For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 

John 3 :16 

The Date

"So I went on a date you know!"

Lets take this back about a week.  Isabella was invited to a school friends birthday party at "Pump It Up".  This would be one of the first parties she would go to with out Alexandrea.  To help Andi get over the disappointment we quickly gave her the choice of going on "a date".  I told her she could go on a date with Mommy or go on a date with Daddy.  To which she responded "or I could go on a date with Austin"!  She has her Dad's quick wittedness and she was proud of her comeback.  She thought she was pretty funny.  As the week passed she decided she was going to go on a date with Daddy, which is no surprise.  The day came and excitement filled the air.  She knew when she woke up this was the day for the date.  That morning we went to brunch with close friends and on the way home we agreed to get the house in order before we went our separate ways. While removing her shoes she asked where to put them because "I'm wearing them on my date"!  Finally it was time.  She got on her shoes and was ready to go when we remembered we needed to clean out the oven.  Walking back in the kitchen she tripped and scraped her cheek on the open oven door.  Oh there were tears, a little blood, a good bump and soon to be a nice bruise.  As she lay on the couch with a towel and a pack of frozen peas I offered to stay home and sit with her but she wanted that date with her Daddy.  Joey was helping me get Isa all together for the party when Andi just started to wail.  She thought he was taking Isa and leaving her.  "I want my date"!  Her little tear-filled eyes shone when Joey reassured her he was just helping Mommy and they would be leaving soon.

I texted Joey from the party to see how things were going.  My heart sank for Andi when I read the text.  We have a flat tire.  John is on his way to pick us up.  About 5 minutes into their date the tire was flat.  As they waited on the side of the road she wore Joey's Jacket and kept the conversation going.  Soon Uncle John showed up with cookies and snacks and they were off to Discount Tire.  After discount tire it was time to go home.  We had company for dinner.  At one point in the night, Andi looked at Lance with a big smile saying, "So I went on a date you know"!

How many times have I let my circumstances ruin wonderful company.  Things just weren't perfect so why bother.  This wasn't what I had planned so it's not any fun.  I'm learning from Andi that life is more about the people your with then the situation you're in and a little perspective changes everything.  

Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.  

Philippians 4:11-13 The MSG

PS.  In case you were wandering, Joey will be taking her on another date in the near future

None of your business

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like you've been set-up?  The same theme keeps following you everywhere you go.  You just can't get rid of it.  My set-up started with a statement I cannot shake.  I was scrolling through facebook when my heart attached itself to a statement my cousin posted.  The post was called seven lovely logics.  Everyday since reading it I keep going back to one of them.  It was listed #2 What others think of you is none of your business.  My "people-pleasing", "needing-approval" self cannot remember any of the other logics.  A battle of heart, mind and soul started.  If a statement could rock what I have unknowingly built my life around this was the one.  Part of me jumped up and said "this is true hold on to it.  Stop trying to make everyone think good about you.  It's impossible and exhausting".  While another part of me said "no it should say what others think of me is none of their business.  They shouldn't have an opinion of me".  Isn't it amazing that when faced with something we don't like about ourselves we rush to blame someone else for it.  I can't be secure enough in myself that others are not allowed to have a bad opinion of me?  What a conflict!  

I don't know if it was just one those weeks or if this statement made me more aware of my insecurities, but I could not do anything without thinking about what others thought.  Sometimes I whispered to myself "what other's think of me is none of my business," and other times I screamed it.  This statement didn't fix my problem.  It made me aware of a problem.  I find my value in other people.  I want to be accepted, approved of, affirmed, loved and admired.  My security was found in other people which is not very secure.   

So the question remains how do I stop worrying what others think?  I find my identity in my Creator.  Tomorrow I will wake up knowing I was made for it.  I will ask God who I am and what He has for me and I will allow a process to continue the next day to the next day to the next day.  When I know the truth of what God thinks of me I know I am accepted, approved of, affirmed, loved and admired.  I become secure in who I am in Christ and others opinions' of me is none of my business.

The fear of human opinion disables;

    trusting in God protects you from that.

Proverbs 29:25

The Fit

Anyone willing to admit he/she can throw a fit with the best of them?  Things aren't going our way.  This isn't what we signed up for.  I want it my way right away.  I have no problem admitting I can throw a fit.  It may have something to do with the fact that I'm the youngest and the only girl in my family.  Yes I was a little spoiled.  When I became a parent, I learned it's easy to let your child flip out and not change your mind when you know it's something that will harm them.  Really we could be doing something productive and fun, but you'd rather just focus on the fact that you're not getting your way.

Alexandrea thought it was a great idea to go to the play ground after dropping Isa off at school.  What could be better than that! She was not happy with us when we told her we had to keep walking.  Joey responded to her folded arms and glare with an offer to dance on the side walk as we walked.  Who doesn't love to dance with their Daddy.  I have fond memories of dancing with my Dad in the kitchen before school as Mom listened to the radio.  Alexandrea looked at Joey, as he offered her one hand while spinning me with the other, and took off.  When I say took off, she bolted down the sidewalk as fast as her little legs would take her.  Joey and I looked at each other for a moment and laughed.  We were amazed that she was so mad that she just ran away.  I saw her getting close to where we crossed the street and I began to panic.  These two laughing parents might be running as fast as they can in a second.  She was almost a block in front of us.  I find it amazing what she did next.  She sat!  She just sat arms crossed waiting for us.

How many times have I missed an opportunity to dance with my Heavenly Father because I don't like the decisions He has made.  Or how many times have I run as fast as I could trying to avoid the situation I'm in just to wait to be happy on the other side of the street.  Ultimately I'm glad for the Lord's intervention.  His ways are not ours.  I'm not God and I don't want to be.  I'm also thankful I serve a gracious God that lets me make my motions and cast my votes.  I can pour out my heart to Him.  He looks at me full of love and reminds me He sees the big picture- that now is not the best time but let's enjoy where we are.

Make your motions and cast your votes, but God has the final say

Proverbs 16:33 MSG

    

A Penny For Your Thoughts

You know those moments that happen every few days if not every day, the ones where things just don't go as planned?  I unloaded the shopping cart and grabbed my purse to pay.  The problem was my purse was empty.  My wallet was gone.... Of course, my mind raced to someone stealing it, until I remembered I had gotten gas on our way to Walmart.  I quickly put everything back in my basket and asked if I could keep it there while I ran with the girls to the van to find it.  Right before I opened the car door, Alexandrea looks at me with panic and says "I have to go potty really really bad!"  Relieved my wallet was sitting on the passenger seat I grabbed it.  I grabbed the girls hands and ran back to the store.  Isa stopped us in the middle of the cross walk to grab a penny.  "Really!" I thought, "A Penny."  As we picked up our pace, she whispered,  "thank you God for this penny."  She was so happy.  Why is it so hard for we adults to stop and be thankful for the pennies in our lives.

As we're running to the washroom I quickly glanced to make sure my basket was still there.  I could just picture a clerk thinking it was items to put back.  I really didn't want to go through the whole shopping process again.  Rushing the girls to finish in the potty, I saw the forever line.  I looked around for another register.  Sheila Welsh had said something along the line of "when she gets rerouted, she has learned to look for opportunities to brighten another's day."  I saw her, a clerk with no one in her line.  She looked as if she would prefer no one to be in her line.  By the time I got my basket, the girls were somewhat falling apart.  What was supposed to be a quick stop had turned into an hour event.  I smiled at the clerk and tried to make light of my kids running around.  She wasn't having it.  She wanted no interaction with me at all.  As I paid and turned to walk away, there was Isa handing her the penny accompanied by the words "Thank you for working here."  The clerk's face lit up and we were gone.

This is not the first time Isa has thanked people for doing their job.  She learned this from her Dad, who always thanks the military for protecting us.  I have seen Isa thank soldiers, TSA workers, the security guard at our pool and now the Walmart clerk.  Every time they smile, watch her walk away and shake their head.  They're a lot of people I just expect to do their job.  Instead I'll try to take on Isa's point of view and be grateful.

PS....... after I wrote this Alexandrea's prayer was for the lady at the store......

Advice

Is there ever a time you come across something you never want to forget.  It's so good you want to keep it locked away in your heart.  I often make the mistake of thinking,  I will never forget that.  And I do.  I get busy.  Life moves on and then that moment happens when you really wish you had have wrote it down.  


A couple of weeks ago we were putting on a baby shower for someone very special to me.  As I was gathering  information from people close to her.  Prayers, encouragement and advice.   I came across an email that jumped out at me.  It was as if the words were bolder.  STOP Don't just finish this task this is for you.  It was advice from a daughter sharing about her incredible mother.

   "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  Romans 12:15 - My mother  always has lived this out even today when her children are grown. Whenever there was a victory in my life no matter how big or how small, she celebrated as if it was her own.Through the storms in my life she has been on her knees praying with me & for me. - Bri "DeVries" Antelo

This stopped me for a while.  Do I do this?  Or am I too busy worrying. Worrying about whats for dinner or if their hair bow matches.  Or worrying just to worry.  Do I slow down long enough to celebrate?  Is there room in my life to let the girls have a good cry?  Do I see them as human beings with real feelings of joy and pain?  Or are they just kids.  I couldn't stop there.  What about those around me?  Am I someone they can come to? Can I be that friend, daughter, wife, neighbor?  This was a lot for me filter.  I need to change.     


It also made me reflect on what a wonderful parent God our Father is.  He doesn't just watch us live our life He experiences it with us.  He loves those victorious moments but He also gets in the pit and sits with us.  


I hope I remember these words and that my girls would one day say this of me ...... "through highs and lows, heartache and love, elementary, high school, college, marriage & parenthood mom was never to busy to stop and "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

PS I know that there are days I will fail at this but hopefully I succeed more than I fail

Giants

Do you have hard time moving forward unless EVERYTHING is in place?  Let me ask it another way..... Do you run from things when they're not perfect?  This is not the best trait to have when you're trying to make future decisions.  Somewhere along the way I decided that if something was from God everything would just line up perfectly.  There would be no bumps or rough patches.  If there was sight of these hard times in the horizon I backpedaled as fast as I could.  Surely this wasn't for me.  Therefor I find it very difficult to commit to anything.  Somedays I'm amazed I got married, not because Joey is not perfect,  but because marriage has mirrored all my flaws.  And any flaws I thought were hidden have been magnified by parenthood.  The fact that I can't be perfect and someone sees that hourly is very hard.  I want to be Mother Teresa, Princess Di, Sheila Walsh and Elle Macpherson all in one.  Haha not the case.

I was reminded this week of a great truth.  I'm thankful for the story of Caleb and Joshua.   God was leading the Israelites into their PROMISE LAND and instead of embracing it, Gods people looked for all the reasons why they should walk away.  Have you ever stepped back and asked God is there anything in my life you're wanting me to embrace and all I see are the flaws?  Wouldn't you hate to miss out on the promise because you're so distracted by little imperfections?  This week at VBS, with 6 year olds crawling across my lap, listening to this bible story I was reminded....Even the Promise Land had Giants.

A Little Messy

Have you ever been in too much of hurry for anyone to be involved in what you're trying to accomplish?  That's it's just easier to do it yourself because you know it's going to be done right.  You won't have to go back and fix someone else's mistakes.  And you just don't have to stop and explain to anyone what you're doing and why.  This behavior creeps back into my life quite often.  I become very lonely and tired when I get like this.  I always feel like I have too many tasks to accomplish and not enough time for all the people pulling for my attention.  Before I know it I'm on the verge of break down.
I believe people are important. That God has placed us in the lives of others.  There is value in those around us.  When I get too busy to live out this conviction there is a battle that wages in my mind and soul.  I like to check off my "to do" list.  I believe we should be responsible for the things God has entrusted to us, but I hate when my list becomes priority to people, especially my girls.  About a decade ago I was taught I valuable lesson in leadership.  Not everyone wants you to stop your life for them they just want an invite to be apart.  This last week we decided to try this principle with our girls and doing dishes.  Isabella is a quality time kinda girl and Alexandrea, at this point, likes anything her big sister likes.  So doing dishes has become quality time at the Alcala Household.  Sure it takes longer, and it gets messy, there's a lot of water to clean up after, but it's so fun.  We have had some awesome talks, laughs, and concerts while cleaning.  Valuable family time doesn't always have to be going to the park.  It can be enjoying the task at hand with the little ones surrounding you.

                                                        Take some time sit back and observe.  Who wants to be a part of your life and what can you invite them to do?  Who knows that dreaded task may become one of your favorites because of the individuals involved.  People are worth the extra mess and time.  So take my advise, let go of your OCD and embrace some lives.
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."   Luke 16:10

Empty

Are you afraid of how slowing down makes you uncomfortable?  You know the questions that come when you take a moment to pause?  Like does my life have meaning?  Is there more? The feeling of emptiness creeps in and I don't like it. It reveals that there's something wrong and I don't know how to fix it. So I rush to cover it. I fill my life with more stuff. What else is on my to do list? Who can I call now? What show can I follow so I don't have to deal with my life. And don't forget our security blanket ...... the phone(can't leave home without it.) It's a great pacifier when things get silent and awkward. Do I have a text? What's everyone else doing? Instagram, facebook, twitter and so on. And still the emptiness remains.
There is a security that only God can give. A void that's just His size.  Everyday I rush to fill it with all this other stuff I always come up short. Others can't live up to the expectation I put on them.  When we take time to deal with our emptiness before our creator, our relationships a will be healthier.
He doesn't just want to cover up, He wants to heal. He doesn't just want us to laugh, in His Presence there is fullness of Joy. He will never leave us or forsake us. So the next time that awkward, lonely, quiet, feeling comes, bring it before Him. Let's turn the tv off, put the ringer on silent, set aside the list and pause. Take off the "I've got it all together" mask and find true comfort and peace in the arms of God through Jesus Christ.  He has the answers to the questions of emptiness we're afraid to ask.

1 Peter 1:18

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.......

In Between

You know those times where you just can't wait to get to the new? You're so excited about stepping up and conquering only to realize it's not what you thought it would be.

 April 29th 2012 was the day Isabella conquered the two wheeler.  It was a proud and sad day all at the same time. We soon realized that she was ready for the next step. The bike we removed the training wheels from was great for learning but too small for soaring. Joey and Isabella made a trip to Wal-Mart and picked out that new bike. Isabella was so excited.  I have to admit I was a little unprepared for what was about to take place. This newer bigger bike was quite a challenge. Five minutes into this process Isa looked at me and said, in a disappointed but not defeated voice, "this is not a fun as I thought it would be." Joey took over at this point.

When I came around the corner with Alexandrea I saw what I think every parent sees when teaching their children to ride. Yep Isa was on the ground crying. Joey picked her up, held her and took her inside where he began to take care of her cuts and scrapes.  She thought it might be better to stick with her old bike.  It was comfortable and known.

I was going to write this post when Isa finally conquered this bike, but I figured there's a lot more of us in the  "in between" stage then in the "arriving" stage. You see Joey and I have full confidence that Isa will ride this bike.  I believe some of us are in a trial that instead of God rescuing us He's allowing us to learn something. We might fall off, cry and want to go back to what we know, but He's there to pick us up, clean us off and cheer us on.  What He won't do is hop on our bike and ride it for us. If He did we would never learn. I am certain that He is confidently watching us learn knowing that in due time we'll get it.

So let's embrace this in-between stage and not rush.  I'd hate to miss out on the valuable lessons that only can be taught during this time.

  God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12 The Message

The Shove

Have you ever watched a four year old at her birthday party?  Alexandrea was full of excitement.  One of my favourite times was when she opened her presents.  She would open one and try to appreciate it as much as possible before her sister shoved another one in her face.  "Open this one, open this one!"
Isn't that how life is sometimes?  We are trying to appreciate some of God's blessings or lessons and something is shoved in front of us to move on.

My little Monkey is Four

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to an incredible women's conference with one of my dearest friends.  There were so many highlights, experiences and life changing moments.  What's funny to me is how easy I started forget.  I mean I had a house to clean, laundry to do and grocery shopping.  It's back to work,  teacher appreciation for the girls, and I cannot let another day pass before signing them up for all their summer festivities.  Before I knew it the conference is out sight out of mind.  Life had shoved it's do list to the front of my line.  So I would like to take a moment and reflect on one of those life changing moments.  I became a huge fan of Andy Andrews.  He shared with us a statement that enlightened him. "People move from Almost to Almost.  I almost had a great marriage, I almost loved my job, I almost fill in the blank - Almost to Almost.  Almost happens when people force answers before they exist.  Sometimes God is not trying to give you answers He's trying to give you perspective."

In this time of uncertainty in our lives I don't want to force answers that don't yet exist.  So many people are asking us what's next but all I know is God in His sovereignty has perfect timing.  I don't need to figure out the answer, He has it.  What I need to do is learn the lesson He is trying to teach me and trust Him.

Tangie and I at the conference 

The girls got to come too.

Matthew 6:31-33

 "What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

It All Fades

Has anyone ever noticed that its usually never one thing that breaks down at a time?  In the last month we have replaced break pads, fixed our air conditioner, repaired our garage door and fixed our sprinkler system. It seems like we have had the repair guy on speed dial. One of the things that was deemed unfixable was our washing machine.
In the two week period of no washing machine you can only use your sweet sister laws (thank you Sheri Lynn) a certain amount. Finally we opted for a family trip to the laundry mat. The Laundry mat was a common occurrence in the first few years of our marriage but this was a first for the girls. They were so excited! To them nothing could be better than putting each piece of laundry in the washer. They climbed the washer to pour in the detergent and bleach in the right holder but the all time best was when they pulled chairs over to put the money in the slots.  I thought this is incredible, kids are awesome. They make the best out of every situation. I had my mind made up I was going to title my next post "Who needs Vegas when you have laundry?"

       
The fact is this would have been a fair title if all we had to do was start the process of laundry unfortunately, like most things in life, laundry has a process too. Like laundry the excitement faded.  Joey and the girls picked up starbucks for breakfast and about halfway through eating the questions and comments began.  "Is it almost done?, I'm bored, Can we leave now?, I want to go home, This is so boring!" ....... I passed on my moms famous words to them, "only boring people get bored." (I hated that statement as a child and now I'm using it, haha.)  So they dug in and found the basket and laundry bags to be great entertainment.  This too lasted for a while and faded.

Look at those faces 

What great parents we are

I began to think everything is fun and exciting at first.  It's so easy to start something.  It's also easy to rush away from it once the newness and fun begins to fade.  It's hard to push through.  Sometimes we have to recommit ourselves over and over again. I think it's worth the effort because the things we stick with make us mature.  The things that make us mature give us a rich life.  That's why in James it says  "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Groundhog Day

Do you ever feel like your stuck in the movie groundhog day and the only thing that changes is the date on the calendar and maybe your clothes.  There are times in my life that everyday feels like its on repeat.  I wake up do my bible study, prepare breakfast, pack lunches in backpacks, wake up the girls, get dressed, drop Isa off at school, head to work, drop off Alexandrea to her classroom, get off, run home clean up Alexandrea's school stuff, prep dinner, pick up Isa, clean up her backpack from school, homework, cook dinner, clean up dinner, make lunches, give bedtime snacks, put the girls to bed, watch a show with Joey, go to bed and wake up to start all over again.  I can get so bored of this cycle.  Since a maid,  chauffer and cook aren't in the budget I have discovered myself wishing for my kids to grow up so I don't have to do so many things over and over again.  The sad thing is that I'm wishing so many great moments away.
The Lord used a series our pastor spoke on thankfulness to help change so much of my perspective.  Before I heard this series I was motivated by the result of an action.  There a lot of things I don't like the process of, but I endure it to enjoy the result.  For example, dishes, I like a clean kitchen but I'm not so thrilled by what it takes to get there. The problem with being motivated by the result is the fact that life is more of a process than a result.  Therefor more of my time is spent enduring instead of enjoying.  So here are some of my secrets that have helped me be thankful and make the most of these mundane everyday occurrences.  

Cooking - I have found I love to cook with people and try new recipes. My husband is one of my favorites to cook with.  So instead of just having someone over for dinner invite them to come cook with you.  Even cooking with your kids.


Dishes - This is a wonderful catch up time.  Our house has had some great conversations while, washing, rinsing, drying and putting away dishes.  I have also used this time to talk to some of my greatest friends and family on the phone

Laundry -  I've come to be thankful to have clothes and I've started to pray for the people who wear them.  I pray that there day would be full of the evidence of God in their lives.  That they would show God's love to all they come in contact with.


Dusting - Depends on the day.  I usually dust with Alexandrea since Isa is in school.  We either have a dance party with some of her top picks or it's a quiet time that I enjoy some of my favorite worship albums.  Actually it's usually a combo of both since I lose my companion about half way through.  I believe one of the greatest assets to cleaning is picking the right cleaning track!

Driving - Since one of my first posts was on this feel free to look that up

Vacuuming - Haha I've always loved to vacuum....

This is my attempt to look like a 40s housewife... I
 usually clean in sweats and a t-shirt

I would like to finish with the thought that none of this is accomplished by sheer will power and I still don't succeed at this.  It all comes from giving each day over the Lord.  He makes everyday exciting and guides you on what's important and what's not.  When you do this and depend on Him the groundhog day syndrome will no longer run your life.

ROMANS 12

Place Your Life Before God

 ^1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Not Today

Yesterday I woke up with my to do list in my head. My incredible neighbor and I get together every Tuesday. We rotate houses and baking, it was my turn. The plan was to go to work, pick up Alexandrea, stop by the grocery store, bake some scones, wipe down the kitchen, hide the piles and piles of laundry (our washing machine is broken), prep dinner for bbq, hang out with my neighbor, clean the bathrooms, eat dinner, work out, put the girls to bed watch biggest loser and head to bed myself.

I realized these plans might be changing at about 2:10 when I decided the best place for Alexandrea and I was to take cover at her school because of the tornados hitting the dfw area. Joey was working till 3 and was going to pick up Isa when he got off. I called Isabella's school and was reassured that she was safe and in the best place at her school. In the next hour I was told many different things like twisters were on there way through. When I heard there were tornado clouds forming a little north of us I immediately began to worry about my sweet Isabella. My husband was now off work and on his way to get her. At this point I was told there's an opening before another storm was coming. Alexandrea and I got in the car and headed home to meet Joey and Isa. There was major sigh of relief to all be safe, together and at home.

At this moment my to do list changed to cuddling on the couch and watching a movie as a family, sticking soup mix in a pot, enjoying dinner together, laying down with our girls till they fell asleep in our arms and thanking God for another day. Sometimes you just got to look at your to do list and say NOT TODAY, there's more important things to do.

There is so many different reports of how many tornados
touched down, most of the damage was in the south of DFW

This is in Forney we have incredible friends there who have
opened there church for disaster relief with the red cross

If you want to help in any way you can find them on Facebook
at MustangCreek CommunityChurch

This is not fact but I have heard that there was 19 twisters that touched down.  I am thankful to God that there were no fatalities. Please join in prayer with me for the many people and families that have lost so much and for strength for those who are helping.  

The Yo-Yo

The last two weeks have gone from high to low on repeat.  This is usually a sign that my focus is off.  We had a wonderful vacation in Arizona for spring break.  There were so many moments. You know the moments that you don't want to get pinched in case it's a dream.  There were life long friend moments, staying up talking till 1am, laughing, crying, remembering and dreaming. Sweet times of apologizes and forgiveness. There were kids everywhere, laughter and squeals of delight, peace in chaos.  It was full of people.  I'll take it.  Moments your so thankful for the relationship your kids have with your parents.  There were even quiet moments.  You know life is good when you can sit still and not be overcome by insecurity and fear.

Love these Ladies

So fun

We came back and BOOM.  I would like to say it's been one of those days but more like one of those weeks.  You know those weeks when the grass is greener on the other side.  When what we have is not enough.  When complaints flow like a fountain and gratitude is no where to be found.  Yep I'm having one of those. The kinda week where no one can do right.  The world is unfair and I just want to stay in bed, watch tv and eat ice-cream.  Since that cannot be reality I am forced to deal with this attitude.

It's always good to slow down and think about what you're thankful for.  But I wouldn't stop there.  There is a hole in all of us that can only be fulfilled but the Lord.  I can always tell when I try to satisfy this need with people, possessions and circumstances.  

Say it again

My wonderful husband is a Starbucks employee.   I do have to say he makes one handsome barista.  Before he took on this job "Pancake Saturday" used to be a highlight of the week. The girls loved it.  They got to make breakfast with their daddy.  Who could ask for more? Since November it has changed to Pancake Sunday because Joey opens on Saturday mornings.  Well Sunday morning the girls ask, "Is it Pancake Saturday?" Haha.  Daddy not being here when they wake up has left our Saturday mornings wide open.  Even though we've done quite a few things during these past months there has been one similarity.  The girl's Daddy. They love going to see him at work, writing him cards, leaving voicemails, planning a party for when he comes home and the list continues.  This morning wasn't any different.  Amazing how a little tradition can impact them so much.  The girls were a little disappointed when I told them we couldn't go see him.  We had a play date at chic-fil-a.  When I came to my room to get ready my heart smiled when I saw this.

It has something for every season if you turn it :)

A love container for Daddy.  Isa had made me one a month ago when I was out of town for the weekend speaking at a conference.  I love it.  It's for me to keep and take with me when we're apart so I can remember she loves me.  Also she wrote a message on the mirror.  A little something we love to do at our house.  It's not the prettiest but who wouldn't want to read I love you first thing in the morning or right before going to bed? It's not Valentines Day or the Fourth of July but Isabella felt the need on March 3rd to tell her Daddy one more time "I love you!" It was so sincere.

There are times I think, they already know how I feel or why do I need to say that I've said it before.  But today I'm challenged to say it again.  If I'm really honest I could never hear it enough.  Why would I think others are any different from me?  Have you asked yourself who needs to hear it today?  They may hear it best from a note or a phone call or maybe even when you stop by.  But I challenge you like I've been challenged.  Say it again. Who knows you could even make you're own love container.  It doesn't matter how you do it just "say it again."

Romans 12:9-10

Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.  

Purpose

There's a mad race to our big purpose in life.  Have you ever noticed we like to focus on the BIG things?   You can't wait to get to high school and immediately the focus becomes what College you're going to and what will your major be. Or you meet someone and start dating, and could this be the one starts to role through your mind.  Soon comes the questions are you going to get engaged?  Then when's the wedding? After the big day everyone wants to know when the baby's coming? A precious bundle arrives and there's more questions will you have another one?  Is the baby sleeping through the night?  Are you giving him/her cereal?  When will this child start crawling?  Talking?  Walking?  What's the plan for the first birthday?  Preschool?  School?  Driving?  College?  Wedding? and the cycle continues.  I think we focus so much on what we think are the big things we miss out on the important things.  Maybe we have a misconception of what the big things really are?   And because of this misconception some of us are stuck between these big events.  Maybe there is no wedding.  Or no baby has arrived.  Some of us realize we were so excited about the wedding we didn't focus on the marriage.  I think we often forget the important things are the times in between.
I would love the Lord to show me what my BIG purpose in life is;  but I'm starting to realize I have purpose in everyday.  It may not be some big thing that others judge as glamorous or fulfilling but it's my purpose.  There are people that only you come in contact with, and there are prayers that only you are praying.  I'm learning that to just focus on the big makes us miss the little blessings, lessons and joy in everyday.  So maybe today you find yourself rushing for the big things,  or waiting for what seems to be the next "important thing" to happen to you.  You might feel pressure and disappointment not being able to see the next step happening.  Maybe you feel stuck and committed to something you didn't even consider because you were so focused on checking off your "big thing" list.  Let me tell you there's always hope.  God doesn't want us just to consider Him in the "big" things he wants us to see Him at work in every moment.  This week lets try to see our purpose in the in-between, the everyday life that we all live. To know the Lord has a purpose for each of us in every moment and live that purpose out.  Have a great week!

The Journey

Alexandrea has been a little sick this week. So we have had the wonderful opportunity to hang out the last few days.  I already wrote about the party and all the fun we had, but I have to tell you something, I got to witness the perfect example lived out by my three year old. I'm trying my best to apply the statement "life's a journey not a destination." This Wednesday Alexandrea was my teacher. We had decided to make cupcakes. The box of confetti cake mix was in the pantry for this reason. Andy had been waiting expectedly all morning for the moment to start the process. When it was time she quickly and excitedly pushed the chair from the table to the counter. Where she hoped up ready to help. There she removed the eggs, poured water and oil, and emptied the ingredient box. When finished with each step she'd ask with a big smile what's next? When instructed she happily followed directions. She loved placing the baking cups in the tins. Please keep in mind this whole process was filled with sneezing, coughing, and a runny nose. Now it was time to fill the tins with the mix. I could see how proud is was,  such a big girl spooning out the mix. After each spoonful she would ask with a grin, "Can I lick it now?" She happily answered OK as she scooped out some more mix every time I said, "not yet."  Her giggle was priceless when it was time. The cupcakes were placed in the oven and the question came, "Can we cuddle while we wait mom?" I loved how her body relaxed into mine after each time she asked, "are they ready now?" She trusted that I knew best.

Do we trust that He knows best? Do we treat the process of life like Andy treated the process of making cupcakes. Do we readily ask what's next? And do it with a smile? Do we realize ALL there is to enjoy along the way, or do we just want the destination? Can we wait in peace when He tells us not yet? What's funny to me is she didn't even want the cupcakes at the end.  If I went to buy cupcakes from velvet (the best I've had) that wouldn't have been as good.  She wanted the process. On a side note we threw them away because she was so sick I didn't want to chance anyone else getting sick. You think, when we finally get there, when we get whatever dream we're rushing through life for, when we've reached the plateau, that we'll look back and realize ..... the true joy was in The Journey?

Romans 8:15

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?"

Why Not

Alexandrea woke up a very disappointed little girl. She loves her school and would rather not miss a day. Today of all days was party day and sweet little baby had a fever. As I was trying to console this upset daughter of mine a voice comes from across hall "Alex have a party at home!". Isabella, my on point problem solver, had the whole day planned for her little sister in less than 15mins. Before I dropped Isa off at school I was instructed about what crafts to make, where the supplies were, what toys were to be given as gifts and quizzed on all info given to me. Needless to say Alexandrea and I had a wonderful day. We cuddled, we made cupcakes, gave presents, cuddled, ate, cuddled, did crafts, had a dance party, and cuddled some more. Have I mentioned there's nothing she loves more than to cuddle?

Cupcakes we didn't eat (fever)

So here's my question. Instead of spending all our energy complaining about what life hands us why not plan a party? Life is full of disappoints but I believe it's what we do with those disappointments. Sure you can't always make cupcakes and throw a party but why not make the best of it. I love the quote "An unhappy person usually needs a change of heart rather than a change of circumstance." So this week with detours and hard ships ask yourself why not? Are you going to let your circumstances steal a great moment or can you make the best of it?

It's a symptom

Do you ever turn on the TV so you don't have to deal with your thoughts?  It can be a nice distraction at times.  Another diversion I've found is burning the candle at both ends.  As I've said before, I don't believe rushing is the root of the problem I face. Rushing is a symptom. Trying to fix an addiction to rushing through life is like taking Advil to fix a headache caused by your back being out of place.  The headache might go away for a while but the true problem still exists. Sometimes I like to just fix the symptom and not deal with reality. Reality can be overwhelming.  In slowing down I've learned that my reality is to worry. Worry worry worry.  I'm not going to bore you with the list of things I worry about because it could go on forever.  I find this truth discouraging.  I am learning that the opposite of worry is to trust.  I am also learning this is a lot easier said than done.  Because instead of trusting I fill my life with stuff so I feel like I don't have time to worry. Unfortunately this doesn't help anything and usually ends in a bad explosion.  I believe I do this so I don't have to deal with the vulnerability of trusting God.  Yep pretty superficial I know, but it is my reality and I believe that realization is a pretty big step.  I don't like looking at my faults face to face.  But in removing the symptom I gain the chance to learn and change.  I've heard it said "the moment you stop learning is the moment you stop growing." I'm learning to be still and know that He is God.  I'm learning there are things in my life that can no longer be covered by business, or hid by the symptom of going going going.  And I am learning that trust is a moment by moment decision.  

Proverbs 28:25

 A grasping person stirs up trouble, 

 but trust in God brings a sense of well-being.