None of your business

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like you've been set-up?  The same theme keeps following you everywhere you go.  You just can't get rid of it.  My set-up started with a statement I cannot shake.  I was scrolling through facebook when my heart attached itself to a statement my cousin posted.  The post was called seven lovely logics.  Everyday since reading it I keep going back to one of them.  It was listed #2 What others think of you is none of your business.  My "people-pleasing", "needing-approval" self cannot remember any of the other logics.  A battle of heart, mind and soul started.  If a statement could rock what I have unknowingly built my life around this was the one.  Part of me jumped up and said "this is true hold on to it.  Stop trying to make everyone think good about you.  It's impossible and exhausting".  While another part of me said "no it should say what others think of me is none of their business.  They shouldn't have an opinion of me".  Isn't it amazing that when faced with something we don't like about ourselves we rush to blame someone else for it.  I can't be secure enough in myself that others are not allowed to have a bad opinion of me?  What a conflict!  

I don't know if it was just one those weeks or if this statement made me more aware of my insecurities, but I could not do anything without thinking about what others thought.  Sometimes I whispered to myself "what other's think of me is none of my business," and other times I screamed it.  This statement didn't fix my problem.  It made me aware of a problem.  I find my value in other people.  I want to be accepted, approved of, affirmed, loved and admired.  My security was found in other people which is not very secure.   

So the question remains how do I stop worrying what others think?  I find my identity in my Creator.  Tomorrow I will wake up knowing I was made for it.  I will ask God who I am and what He has for me and I will allow a process to continue the next day to the next day to the next day.  When I know the truth of what God thinks of me I know I am accepted, approved of, affirmed, loved and admired.  I become secure in who I am in Christ and others opinions' of me is none of my business.

The fear of human opinion disables;

    trusting in God protects you from that.

Proverbs 29:25

The Fit

Anyone willing to admit he/she can throw a fit with the best of them?  Things aren't going our way.  This isn't what we signed up for.  I want it my way right away.  I have no problem admitting I can throw a fit.  It may have something to do with the fact that I'm the youngest and the only girl in my family.  Yes I was a little spoiled.  When I became a parent, I learned it's easy to let your child flip out and not change your mind when you know it's something that will harm them.  Really we could be doing something productive and fun, but you'd rather just focus on the fact that you're not getting your way.

Alexandrea thought it was a great idea to go to the play ground after dropping Isa off at school.  What could be better than that! She was not happy with us when we told her we had to keep walking.  Joey responded to her folded arms and glare with an offer to dance on the side walk as we walked.  Who doesn't love to dance with their Daddy.  I have fond memories of dancing with my Dad in the kitchen before school as Mom listened to the radio.  Alexandrea looked at Joey, as he offered her one hand while spinning me with the other, and took off.  When I say took off, she bolted down the sidewalk as fast as her little legs would take her.  Joey and I looked at each other for a moment and laughed.  We were amazed that she was so mad that she just ran away.  I saw her getting close to where we crossed the street and I began to panic.  These two laughing parents might be running as fast as they can in a second.  She was almost a block in front of us.  I find it amazing what she did next.  She sat!  She just sat arms crossed waiting for us.

How many times have I missed an opportunity to dance with my Heavenly Father because I don't like the decisions He has made.  Or how many times have I run as fast as I could trying to avoid the situation I'm in just to wait to be happy on the other side of the street.  Ultimately I'm glad for the Lord's intervention.  His ways are not ours.  I'm not God and I don't want to be.  I'm also thankful I serve a gracious God that lets me make my motions and cast my votes.  I can pour out my heart to Him.  He looks at me full of love and reminds me He sees the big picture- that now is not the best time but let's enjoy where we are.

Make your motions and cast your votes, but God has the final say

Proverbs 16:33 MSG