More

I have to say that the last few months have been a little "much" on the busy scale.  I started this blog to keep myself accountable from filling my life with too much "stuff" so  that I miss out on the really important great happenings.  You know like hearing the sweet prayers of your daughters, that challenge you to have a child-like heart, instead of making a to-do list in my head while they are falling asleep. Or having that much-needed time with your husband instead of swapping calendars and car seats.  Or what about actually knowing something about your neighbor other than whether they wave with their left hand or right.  Life easily fills up and still we want more.
I believe that the  need for more ruins a lot of wonderful moments.  At least it has in my life.  Why is it that we are never satisfied?  We need more money, more friends, more time and more accolades.  This is a wonderful season full of family, friends and traditions.  And if we're not careful, it's also a season of wanting more.  Sometimes that desire for more easily defeats the family, friends and traditions.
I often go back to a conversation I had with a close friend and her husband, who is very successful in his field.  It was one of those conversations where the light bulb turned on for me.  We were talking about  his latest success.  He said it's like anything in life, you have to get to that point where you can enjoy where you are.  Once you reach a "goal" there's always "something else",  and if you're not careful you'll spend your whole life striving for "something else".  It was eye-opening for me to realize that all of us have a battle with a craving for more.  Here was someone I thought had it all confessing his struggle of wanting more.
This past week while reading my bible this scripture brought that conversation back to life for me.  Proverbs 15:17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred.  There is a lot...... a lot of love in my life.  I can honestly say I will take that love over any admired gift.  So as this wonderful season approaches may we remember the love in our own lives and reach out to those who are searching for it instead of just fulfilling our wants.  And may we never forget this season started because of love

  For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 

John 3 :16 

The Date

"So I went on a date you know!"

Lets take this back about a week.  Isabella was invited to a school friends birthday party at "Pump It Up".  This would be one of the first parties she would go to with out Alexandrea.  To help Andi get over the disappointment we quickly gave her the choice of going on "a date".  I told her she could go on a date with Mommy or go on a date with Daddy.  To which she responded "or I could go on a date with Austin"!  She has her Dad's quick wittedness and she was proud of her comeback.  She thought she was pretty funny.  As the week passed she decided she was going to go on a date with Daddy, which is no surprise.  The day came and excitement filled the air.  She knew when she woke up this was the day for the date.  That morning we went to brunch with close friends and on the way home we agreed to get the house in order before we went our separate ways. While removing her shoes she asked where to put them because "I'm wearing them on my date"!  Finally it was time.  She got on her shoes and was ready to go when we remembered we needed to clean out the oven.  Walking back in the kitchen she tripped and scraped her cheek on the open oven door.  Oh there were tears, a little blood, a good bump and soon to be a nice bruise.  As she lay on the couch with a towel and a pack of frozen peas I offered to stay home and sit with her but she wanted that date with her Daddy.  Joey was helping me get Isa all together for the party when Andi just started to wail.  She thought he was taking Isa and leaving her.  "I want my date"!  Her little tear-filled eyes shone when Joey reassured her he was just helping Mommy and they would be leaving soon.

I texted Joey from the party to see how things were going.  My heart sank for Andi when I read the text.  We have a flat tire.  John is on his way to pick us up.  About 5 minutes into their date the tire was flat.  As they waited on the side of the road she wore Joey's Jacket and kept the conversation going.  Soon Uncle John showed up with cookies and snacks and they were off to Discount Tire.  After discount tire it was time to go home.  We had company for dinner.  At one point in the night, Andi looked at Lance with a big smile saying, "So I went on a date you know"!

How many times have I let my circumstances ruin wonderful company.  Things just weren't perfect so why bother.  This wasn't what I had planned so it's not any fun.  I'm learning from Andi that life is more about the people your with then the situation you're in and a little perspective changes everything.  

Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.  

Philippians 4:11-13 The MSG

PS.  In case you were wandering, Joey will be taking her on another date in the near future

None of your business

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like you've been set-up?  The same theme keeps following you everywhere you go.  You just can't get rid of it.  My set-up started with a statement I cannot shake.  I was scrolling through facebook when my heart attached itself to a statement my cousin posted.  The post was called seven lovely logics.  Everyday since reading it I keep going back to one of them.  It was listed #2 What others think of you is none of your business.  My "people-pleasing", "needing-approval" self cannot remember any of the other logics.  A battle of heart, mind and soul started.  If a statement could rock what I have unknowingly built my life around this was the one.  Part of me jumped up and said "this is true hold on to it.  Stop trying to make everyone think good about you.  It's impossible and exhausting".  While another part of me said "no it should say what others think of me is none of their business.  They shouldn't have an opinion of me".  Isn't it amazing that when faced with something we don't like about ourselves we rush to blame someone else for it.  I can't be secure enough in myself that others are not allowed to have a bad opinion of me?  What a conflict!  

I don't know if it was just one those weeks or if this statement made me more aware of my insecurities, but I could not do anything without thinking about what others thought.  Sometimes I whispered to myself "what other's think of me is none of my business," and other times I screamed it.  This statement didn't fix my problem.  It made me aware of a problem.  I find my value in other people.  I want to be accepted, approved of, affirmed, loved and admired.  My security was found in other people which is not very secure.   

So the question remains how do I stop worrying what others think?  I find my identity in my Creator.  Tomorrow I will wake up knowing I was made for it.  I will ask God who I am and what He has for me and I will allow a process to continue the next day to the next day to the next day.  When I know the truth of what God thinks of me I know I am accepted, approved of, affirmed, loved and admired.  I become secure in who I am in Christ and others opinions' of me is none of my business.

The fear of human opinion disables;

    trusting in God protects you from that.

Proverbs 29:25

The Fit

Anyone willing to admit he/she can throw a fit with the best of them?  Things aren't going our way.  This isn't what we signed up for.  I want it my way right away.  I have no problem admitting I can throw a fit.  It may have something to do with the fact that I'm the youngest and the only girl in my family.  Yes I was a little spoiled.  When I became a parent, I learned it's easy to let your child flip out and not change your mind when you know it's something that will harm them.  Really we could be doing something productive and fun, but you'd rather just focus on the fact that you're not getting your way.

Alexandrea thought it was a great idea to go to the play ground after dropping Isa off at school.  What could be better than that! She was not happy with us when we told her we had to keep walking.  Joey responded to her folded arms and glare with an offer to dance on the side walk as we walked.  Who doesn't love to dance with their Daddy.  I have fond memories of dancing with my Dad in the kitchen before school as Mom listened to the radio.  Alexandrea looked at Joey, as he offered her one hand while spinning me with the other, and took off.  When I say took off, she bolted down the sidewalk as fast as her little legs would take her.  Joey and I looked at each other for a moment and laughed.  We were amazed that she was so mad that she just ran away.  I saw her getting close to where we crossed the street and I began to panic.  These two laughing parents might be running as fast as they can in a second.  She was almost a block in front of us.  I find it amazing what she did next.  She sat!  She just sat arms crossed waiting for us.

How many times have I missed an opportunity to dance with my Heavenly Father because I don't like the decisions He has made.  Or how many times have I run as fast as I could trying to avoid the situation I'm in just to wait to be happy on the other side of the street.  Ultimately I'm glad for the Lord's intervention.  His ways are not ours.  I'm not God and I don't want to be.  I'm also thankful I serve a gracious God that lets me make my motions and cast my votes.  I can pour out my heart to Him.  He looks at me full of love and reminds me He sees the big picture- that now is not the best time but let's enjoy where we are.

Make your motions and cast your votes, but God has the final say

Proverbs 16:33 MSG

    

A Penny For Your Thoughts

You know those moments that happen every few days if not every day, the ones where things just don't go as planned?  I unloaded the shopping cart and grabbed my purse to pay.  The problem was my purse was empty.  My wallet was gone.... Of course, my mind raced to someone stealing it, until I remembered I had gotten gas on our way to Walmart.  I quickly put everything back in my basket and asked if I could keep it there while I ran with the girls to the van to find it.  Right before I opened the car door, Alexandrea looks at me with panic and says "I have to go potty really really bad!"  Relieved my wallet was sitting on the passenger seat I grabbed it.  I grabbed the girls hands and ran back to the store.  Isa stopped us in the middle of the cross walk to grab a penny.  "Really!" I thought, "A Penny."  As we picked up our pace, she whispered,  "thank you God for this penny."  She was so happy.  Why is it so hard for we adults to stop and be thankful for the pennies in our lives.

As we're running to the washroom I quickly glanced to make sure my basket was still there.  I could just picture a clerk thinking it was items to put back.  I really didn't want to go through the whole shopping process again.  Rushing the girls to finish in the potty, I saw the forever line.  I looked around for another register.  Sheila Welsh had said something along the line of "when she gets rerouted, she has learned to look for opportunities to brighten another's day."  I saw her, a clerk with no one in her line.  She looked as if she would prefer no one to be in her line.  By the time I got my basket, the girls were somewhat falling apart.  What was supposed to be a quick stop had turned into an hour event.  I smiled at the clerk and tried to make light of my kids running around.  She wasn't having it.  She wanted no interaction with me at all.  As I paid and turned to walk away, there was Isa handing her the penny accompanied by the words "Thank you for working here."  The clerk's face lit up and we were gone.

This is not the first time Isa has thanked people for doing their job.  She learned this from her Dad, who always thanks the military for protecting us.  I have seen Isa thank soldiers, TSA workers, the security guard at our pool and now the Walmart clerk.  Every time they smile, watch her walk away and shake their head.  They're a lot of people I just expect to do their job.  Instead I'll try to take on Isa's point of view and be grateful.

PS....... after I wrote this Alexandrea's prayer was for the lady at the store......

Advice

Is there ever a time you come across something you never want to forget.  It's so good you want to keep it locked away in your heart.  I often make the mistake of thinking,  I will never forget that.  And I do.  I get busy.  Life moves on and then that moment happens when you really wish you had have wrote it down.  


A couple of weeks ago we were putting on a baby shower for someone very special to me.  As I was gathering  information from people close to her.  Prayers, encouragement and advice.   I came across an email that jumped out at me.  It was as if the words were bolder.  STOP Don't just finish this task this is for you.  It was advice from a daughter sharing about her incredible mother.

   "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  Romans 12:15 - My mother  always has lived this out even today when her children are grown. Whenever there was a victory in my life no matter how big or how small, she celebrated as if it was her own.Through the storms in my life she has been on her knees praying with me & for me. - Bri "DeVries" Antelo

This stopped me for a while.  Do I do this?  Or am I too busy worrying. Worrying about whats for dinner or if their hair bow matches.  Or worrying just to worry.  Do I slow down long enough to celebrate?  Is there room in my life to let the girls have a good cry?  Do I see them as human beings with real feelings of joy and pain?  Or are they just kids.  I couldn't stop there.  What about those around me?  Am I someone they can come to? Can I be that friend, daughter, wife, neighbor?  This was a lot for me filter.  I need to change.     


It also made me reflect on what a wonderful parent God our Father is.  He doesn't just watch us live our life He experiences it with us.  He loves those victorious moments but He also gets in the pit and sits with us.  


I hope I remember these words and that my girls would one day say this of me ...... "through highs and lows, heartache and love, elementary, high school, college, marriage & parenthood mom was never to busy to stop and "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

PS I know that there are days I will fail at this but hopefully I succeed more than I fail

Giants

Do you have hard time moving forward unless EVERYTHING is in place?  Let me ask it another way..... Do you run from things when they're not perfect?  This is not the best trait to have when you're trying to make future decisions.  Somewhere along the way I decided that if something was from God everything would just line up perfectly.  There would be no bumps or rough patches.  If there was sight of these hard times in the horizon I backpedaled as fast as I could.  Surely this wasn't for me.  Therefor I find it very difficult to commit to anything.  Somedays I'm amazed I got married, not because Joey is not perfect,  but because marriage has mirrored all my flaws.  And any flaws I thought were hidden have been magnified by parenthood.  The fact that I can't be perfect and someone sees that hourly is very hard.  I want to be Mother Teresa, Princess Di, Sheila Walsh and Elle Macpherson all in one.  Haha not the case.

I was reminded this week of a great truth.  I'm thankful for the story of Caleb and Joshua.   God was leading the Israelites into their PROMISE LAND and instead of embracing it, Gods people looked for all the reasons why they should walk away.  Have you ever stepped back and asked God is there anything in my life you're wanting me to embrace and all I see are the flaws?  Wouldn't you hate to miss out on the promise because you're so distracted by little imperfections?  This week at VBS, with 6 year olds crawling across my lap, listening to this bible story I was reminded....Even the Promise Land had Giants.